Party for One...

Okay so I know I havent blogged so long. Marriage is tough. Especially when you live together. Especially when your use to being by yourself for 20 years of your life. Then suddenly you have this person in your life who is in your room. Who has no where to go. And has nothing in common with you and does not want to play games with you and there is only so much you can talk. And its harder when I love listening to music and they like watching TV. And both are in the same room. Along with the bed. I just feel so over crowded sometimes.

Ok well I feel over crowded all the time. Except when I want to hug someone up or I feel lonely. So I admit I am really selfish and self centered. I really dont know if am making an active efford to change. I really liked our marriage when I only saw him like 3 hrs a day. I still cant get use to sharing my bed. Maybe if we got a bigger one it would be fine.

I rarely get any privacy now too. I cant blog. Because he is always on the bed behind me. Today luckly he has gone for cricket practice. LOL I remember when I use to get angry with him for going to practice and leaving me alone. Now I wish if he could take up soccer and hockey too.

I guess am going through some phase. But its all good, today I have the speakers as loud as possible. This is my house. And I feel like partying even though I have no one to party with.
SO ITS A PARTY FOR ONE. Me alone and its alright.

There is so much that is happening... My new job is wonderful. I am going to they gym three times a week now. Am finally going to loose those extra pounds.

I have finally given up on waiting for my husband and me to do fun things now. I wake up and
I get ready and I take the bus and train and I go whereever I want to go. Sometimes its lonely
because I wish I had someone to show things to or share my thoughts with. But I have learn to
keep my thoughts to myself. Especially now since I cant blog as much as before.

Well last night I went to a party... My aunt invited me. I love going to her parties. It makes me
feel like if am in Guyana. And we in de back yard partying... Just theres no biting insects.
And they remind me of a person I once. When I had no responsibility and no care for anything.
And I could party everyday...

And I know now I have responsibilities and you just dont turn away from your responsibilities. But it does not help at all when your married to Mr. Boring. Who does not want to do anything.
I guess he works too hard. But I mean I work hard too...

And if I dont do fun stuff I feel like crying and moody...

Anyways all in they family is well. I have finally accepted they fact that there is only so much you can talk to people and so much you can advise them. And we all have the ability to know whats best for us. I have finally stop feeling others sorrow. Because at the end of the day only you have the power over your happiness and no one else. I mean someone can try to make you happy. But if your not willing to be happy yourself, no power on earth can change that.
I just feel sympathetic towords those who are sad now or have sorrows and dont do nothing about it. But thats it. I am dealing with my sorrow. I have decided that everything is about me.
Cause I have realised no one makes it about me everyday. Well except my husband.
He is a real sweet heart. I mean he picks me up from work everyday. And he cooks when am too tired. And he would bring me food in bed if am sick. And all... I love him very much.
But I guess we both have different things that make us happy apart from each other...

I am going to try to blog more often now. I can email from work. But blogger.com is blocked. So I guess I will email my blogs from now...

Am going to try and catch up on everything soon...