Breaking Free...

So all my life I have been trying to avoid pink. Because it symbolizes softness, and girliness, and bunny, and cuddlyness. And its not how I wanted to present myself to the world.

Now suddenly I feel this great need to be known as someone who is girly girl. Who loves cute stuff. Who likes to cuddle... and smell all pretty. I guess its because I am finally having less and less responsibility everyday...

My siblings dont need me as much anymore... My mom dont need me anymore... My husband dont (Ok well no comments there)... And I am finally having more and more time by myself...
Lots of time to think of what I like.

And I need a new wardrobe. I swear I should be on that show `What Not To Wear`. Yup There is not a single peice of clothing in my wardrobe that they would allow me to keep. Honestly... Not even one shirt. I have nothing that matches. Nothing that doesnt have atleast a tiny whole in it. Well anything that doesnt has nothing to go with it. I have nothing thats bright and colourful. All my clothes are a mixture of hand me downs from my mom... Which makes me look twice my age. The rest of them are gifts from my aunts who are in there 40ties...

And those I bought myself... Well I must have not been awake as yet when I was buying them. Cuz I seriously dont know what I was thinking... Or maybe I just didn`t know better considering what I have been brought up in and wearing all my life.

And I do remember myself saying recently that I do not care about appearances... And what I look like on the outside... I dont know but I just suddenly feel this great urge... this sense that I want to look nice.. not for anyone else but just for myself... I want to one day just for myself look in the mirror and see some clothes that match... that dont look well worn. And are so bright you could spot me from the moon.

I need probably a new husband... who could afford this. Which with how I dress would definitely not be possible..(lol) So the next best thing is I am going to start saving. Am going to stop going over to the $5.00 racks and just look for what could fit me and buy it. Instead am going to take my time. And not buy something I dont like. Am only going to buy clothes from this day forward that I like. And thats a promise I intend to keep....

Now I just have to say the same thing about my shoes....